Stories: Brian in La La Land -2005

Brian Lee’s collection of very funny emails written to and from his family after moving to Los Angeles in the summer of 2005 to attend the California Institute of Art, specializing in Animation. (Brian, correct me about the school name if I am wrong, Aunt Linda)

Mom, I wanted to make a political animation for your campaign—a simple, American, family-oriented, humorous cartoon that puts a smile on the faces of your voters. I want it to have the feel of a South Park episode. Once it’s finished, we could build a website for you and post it there along with any voter information you’d like to share. Maybe we could even email it out, though I’m not sure how realistic that is. I think a website is the way to go—it's modern, and I doubt many other candidates have one. What do you think?

If anyone has ideas that fit the format—characters, situations, jokes, anything—please share. The more fun we have with this, the better it’ll work.

—Brian

Every morning I’m abruptly awakened at 7:30 a.m. by the loud yelling of a middle-aged, obnoxious French woman and her two boys, who mimic her voice perfectly. This morning I reached my limit and yelled for her to be quiet. It worked for five minutes, then started again. I don’t think those kids have ever been disciplined by anything other than her screaming. Their father is basically nonexistent except on weekends, when he picks them up—then there's a whole new round of angry, profane screaming between the parents right in front of the kids.

It goes without saying: these people are horrible parents. I’m sick of listening to it, and I don’t think I should have to endure this any longer. I almost called the police this morning, but I’m not sure that’s the best solution. How do I stop the insanity but still keep things civil?

—Brian

Adam, this is why I need you here. I can’t throw water balloons at the neighbors at 7:30 a.m. without a cousin—that just wouldn’t be enjoyable! Maybe someday we could even start a little business called “The Bandit Ballooners,” helping people deal with rude neighbors without violence or police involvement. Our slogan could be: “Trouble with the neighbors? Call A & B to water-balloon the **** out of them. Keep things civil—that’s our stand.”

Thanks to everyone who replied. I think Uncle Pat’s idea wins this time—though Adam was very, very close. Uncle Dan… I expected more, but I appreciated the sarcasm. One thing I learned from all you aunts and uncles is to never give up, and that there’s almost always a way to get the job done, no matter how crazy it is. Thank you for that.

—Brian

Red Bull gives you wings for a bit, but it rots your insides. Do not drink the stuff—it’s toxic. We’ve been setting up for the EMMY party for the last 48 hours, and I have to wake up at 2 a.m. on a Sunday to break it all down. Hope all is well. Goodnight. —Saturday, 7:30 p.m. (a new personal record)

The Delivery (B-Core Company) We mostly work for Red Bull setting up events—parties, concerts, promotions. This weekend it’s Green Day at the Home Depot Center. Last month was Dave Matthews Band. And yes, I get to go to the concerts—but only if I’m on the good side of the boss, who’s usually a cool guy but terrifying when he snaps.

On my first day, he tells me to make a delivery to Orange County in a five-ton truck. “Here are the directions and the warehouse key. Do me proud.” I told him I’d try—having no idea what I was getting into. It was the biggest thing I’d ever driven. A mix of nervousness and excitement hit me, but I managed not to hit any trees, signs, or cars.

My first stop: a warehouse near the airport. The key doesn’t work. I wait for help while desperately needing to pee. I finally squeeze into a bush. When I stand up, two attractive Red Bull promo girls—paid to look cute and deliver energy drinks—are staring at me. I say the only thing that comes to mind: “I’m from Ohio…” They giggle. I load up my cases and refrigerators and head to the next warehouse.

To be continued…

Uncle Dan, that took guts—your first stick shift being a flatbed truck at work!

Sorry Uncle Dan, I’m not in the celebrity gossip ring yet. I did go to Shannon Elizabeth’s birthday party—she played Nadia in American Pie. I met the guy who played Will Smith’s younger cousin on Fresh Prince, and the brunette from That ’70s Show. Sat at a poker table with her and her boyfriend—she’s wild. Didn’t catch the Emmys; I was probably sleeping.

At the next warehouse, a grumpy, middle-aged Southern guy is waiting. He’s angry I’m late and makes me carry seven massive “love seat” bean bags—each 50 pounds—20 yards to the truck by myself. “It ain’t my job,” he says. I let it go, trusting karma. Moral: don’t be late when lifting heavy things with grumpy Southern men.

The truck is loaded. Gas is low, but boss man says I’ll make it.

To be continued…

Anyone know how to deal with salt water stuck in my ear for two days? I want to disinfect properly but don’t have a doctor out here yet.

—B

Long story short: I run out of gas 20 miles from my destination in a giant diesel truck on an off-ramp in Orange County. People drive around me glaring like I personally ruined their lives. My boss yells like it’s my fault. The nearest diesel station is three miles away. A kid in a rusted red pickup gives me a ride. I walk back through suburban L.A. with two heavy gas containers. A tiny Chinese tourist picks me up. A tow truck gets involved. A born-again Christian mother and her daughter try to convert me. Triple-A never comes. Long chaos later, the truck gets running, the load is delivered, and I get back to my car at 1:30 a.m.

Boss calls the next morning wanting me to work.

“I want a $1.50 raise and today off.”

I got it.

Moral: Never rely on anyone’s instincts but your own.

(A ton of aunt/uncle replies about ear remedies omitted for brevity unless you want them included.)

Thanks for the tips, everyone. The somersault one sounds fun. The knife one… a learning experience. Maybe a fillet knife? Or a fish hook? What do you think, Uncle D?

I live in a two-bedroom apartment in West Hollywood—10 minutes from Venice and Santa Monica Beach. I drive a cream-colored ’87 Montero. Great location. In my rare spare time I love the beach, guitar, and drawing. Last Christmas it hit 83 degrees here. I’ll work on getting pictures to everyone. Paula, how’s the photography going?

Here are a couple shots from my trip to Big Sur last weekend. This girl is amazing—could be trouble…

I can’t believe I’m 23 and still feel 18. Little kids and even teenagers say, “Wow, you’re old.” I guess this is the beginning of that feeling of being pushed out of the “fun, cool, young” circle. The day you start understanding the adults’ rules and laughing at their jokes… that’s when you’ve become one of them. But I’m not too worried. Just look at Uncle Dan—still five years old.

Thanks for the hope, Uncle. —Brian

I’m excited to come home. I’ll need to borrow a winter coat—I’m going to freeze. It’ll be 90 degrees here Monday (not to brag). I wish we could get everyone together again for a reunion. I miss those giant family cookouts. It’s tough, but I have faith we can make it happen.

—Brian

Haven’t used the wetsuit yet—waiting until I can afford a surfboard. Not sure whether to get a longboard (easier to learn) or go straight to a shortboard. In class today—Character and Object Design—our professor is in his late twenties, has worked with Pixar, even on The Incredibles. He told me I should try interning with Spielberg’s team. First I need to learn how to spell Spielberg. He’s often seen biking around Universal Studios going from set to set. Maybe someday I’ll get to meet him.

Sharks aren’t much of a threat here—water’s too warm most of the year. I’ve seen a few seals, though, and heard “where there are seals, there are sharks.” Not sure how true that is, but enough to keep me alert. Besides, a wise man once said: “Fortune sides with him who dares.”

Beautiful cat photos—I can use them.

Saturday I went with my friend Frank to a car auction after my car broke down. We checked out the options. Frank seemed to know what he was doing, so I stayed quiet. I just needed something reliable and affordable.

The auction crowd was wild. I must have looked completely clueless. Cars flew by, the auctioneer was speaking at lightning speed, and before I knew it, Frank had already bought one. Then he said, “Let’s go pick up your car.” Turns out he bought one for me. Long story short, I ended up with a convertible.

On the next round, Frank bought himself a BMW convertible. His hands were shaking so badly I had to laugh. We checked our new rides and drove off into the sunset with the tops down.

Sunday I cruised the Pacific Coast Highway through Malibu—wind in my hair, ocean air, crashing waves. It was incredible. I love the new wheels.

Feel better, Uncle Jim. Wish me luck on midterms next week.

—B

The animation was made with 240 pieces of paper, photographed frame by frame into a program called Flipbook. It was originally longer, but the teacher only accepted 240 frames. More to come—I’m officially an animator now. I feel a little guilty using that much paper. Looking forward to switching to digital.

No long story this time—just hello. Life’s been crazy between work, school, and studying. I barely have free time. Today is “demo reel day,” when we see what graduating students have created. My job at the school now actually pays me to learn, which is nice. Our other job has been slow, but we did set up a cool display at the Directors Guild.

Planning a Canada trip this summer.

I won’t make the Canada trip this year either, but I’ll be back in Ohio the same day you return. I look forward to seeing everyone. Take good pictures—watch out for waterfalls this time.

This was a Memorial Day pool party—Ancient Roman theme. Mom, the top picture is for you. Let me know if you can find what’s missing in picture #3. Sorry for the huge file sizes.

And no, I didn’t notice that until later—I was just pointing at the clothes and the party scene. She wasn’t the only one missing clothing. That’s Hollywood…

I’m looking forward to taking a break. Sometimes this place gets to be too much, and I crawl into a shell to escape the madness. Like sitting at the Mad Hatter’s table. But most of the time, I fit right in.

Yes, she took a year off American Idol—she was exhausted. No time to herself, working 24/7, living with the cast. She took the year to meet people and pursue acting. It’s going well—she knows a lot of people in the L.A. scene. She’s gotten me three agents, and when we go out on weekends, it’s usually business. A couple weeks ago we were at Roberto Cavalli’s mansion at a private party. Cuba Gooding Jr. was there, the cast of The O.C., and other celebs. Didn’t take pictures—don’t want to look like a tourist. I’m learning a lot from successful people.

I wish I had more time for animation—I’m obsessed with it. Every spare moment goes to drawing characters and thinking of ways to animate them. But with all my classes, it’s tough to find actual animation time. It’s a complicated juggling act. This break will feel great.

Hey everyone—just wanted to say hello. Finals are over. I’m looking at a couple possible internships with small 3-D animation studios. Nothing solid—big talk is common out here, and it doesn’t always match reality. Still, I’m hopeful. Hope you’re all doing well. Sounds like the shed event was a success.

Love you, miss you. —Brian

For the family website: When the page loads, we could show a giant tree. Each branch could represent a family (e.g., Chip Henry’s). Clicking a branch opens that family’s page—Chip, Linda, Adam, Kim, Darsey, etc. Clicking individual names shows what each person is doing. Not sure if there’s space for this, but just an idea. Let me know and I’ll start designing the tree.

Hello everyone—please send me pictures. I can use any “action shots”: cliff jumps (Canada), shale slides, rope swings, diving boards, sledding, Africa, anything.

If you'd like this broken into excerpts, reorganized, summarized, or formatted into a book-style family journal, I can do that too.

Brian Lee’s Emails 2005 – PDF

September 7, 2005 Linda